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Final (Apple) Core Memories
Sunday found me ready to carbo-load.
My first scheduled activity was a tour with NYC Bagel Tours. My little group (just me and a family of 3) hit up three bagel shops, tasting a variety of the ubiquitous doughy delights and a smorgasbord of tasty schmears while learning about the history of the bagel. I typically gravitate towards the savory side of the bagel world, and tours like this one expose you to choices you might not ordinarily make. On this adventure, we visited the Bagel Pub, Liberty Bagels (home of the rainbow bagel!), and the Bagel Market.
I absolutely recommend this tour!
Bagel Pub: Cinnamon raisin with pumpkin cream cheese 
Bagel Pub: Egg with cucumber dill 
Bagel Pub: everything pumpernickel with chipotle bacon 
Bagel Pub art gallery! 
Jalapeno with avocado herb and rainbow with birthday cake 
Liberty Bagels: rainbow with birthday cake 
So many bagels 
Bagel Market: Salt with green olive and pimento
That afternoon I was scheduled for another trek, this time to cross the Brooklyn Bridge. I had never walked it before, so this was another NYC bucket list item. I picked a tour guide that sounded irreverent and fun, and that didn’t take themselves seriously. I’m not sharing the company, because, well, I wasn’t ultimately impressed. They had good info, and I did learn things. I found it particularly interesting that the bridge’s building was secretly overseen by a woman, the wife of the ailing bridge engineer. If you watch The Gilded Age, you will see her character this season! But I just didn’t dig this guide’s approach (they actually seemed like they couldn’t wait to get the tour over with, and wanted to talk about themselves more than the bridge). I don’t want to disparage someone who might be terrific on another day and with another crowd, so I won’t name names. A suggestion for other guides: when you have a solo traveler, offer to take their pictures, and suggest great vantage spots to do so (my bike tour guide was great at this).
It was a rainy day, which was great because it cut the crowds down. Unfortunately, not all the views were the greatest due to the clouds, but that’s okay. I enjoyed the walk!
When I was done, I wandered around the area right under the bridge. I would like to do more of that on a future trip, as it was a very cool area. I cozied up to The Lobby Bar inside the Time Out Market under the bridge, which I really enjoyed. The bartender was chatty and companionable, and I enjoyed the respite from the drizzly weather. Then it was back outside for a few more pics!
That evening I decided to try a new cuisine — Cuban! I dined at Guantanamera, a highly recommended place with a live salsa band and dancing. A little chorizo with plantains, a mojito (maybe 2!), and a gorgeous hunk of saucy pork, and I was content!
My Monday tour was another long-time wish list destination. The Tenement Museum gives a glimpse into the lives of immigrants, migrants, and refugees who have lived in New York. My biggest problem with this place was deciding which tour to take! This museum is not one where you wander aimlessly through exhibits; rather, you take a tour focussing on a family’s experience. I opted for the 1865 German immigrant tour, which told the story of John and Caroline Schneider. The knowledgeable guide really brought the family’s experience to life and left me eager to try other tours on a future visit.
The Tenement Museum was a few blocks from Chinatown, so I headed that way to explore further and grab some lunch. I ended up at the Mott Street eatery food court and stopped by the highly praised Sanmiwago booth for some Taiwanese dumplings.
I am a sucker for dumplings, and will almost always choose them when they are in front of me! It was a perfectly sized lunch to tide me over until my big dinner that evening.
I headed downtown to visit some more historic landmarks. First up was Federal Hall, where George Washington took the oath of office.
This was not the most interesting place I visited, but, to be fair, it was undergoing some renovations. But it was free, and around the corner from a place I really was excited about, so it was certainly not a mistake to stop in.
Trinity Church is a working house of worship but is also a fabulous place to visit if you are fascinated by graveyards and the stories they tell. Founded more than 300 years ago, it has gained a lot of recent attention, as it is the final resting place of Alexander Hamilton, his wife Eliza, and her sister Angelica. It is a beautiful place, and there is a great, free, downloadable walking tour that makes many of the stories come alive, so to speak.
I enjoyed the visit, although I did have a little emotional breakdown. This cemetery reminded me so much of the one Rich and I visited in Boston, that spring when we started to realize something was seriously wrong. I tried to contain my tears, but I just couldn’t. Thankfully people were respectful and just let me have my space.
After I finished, I went back to my hotel to get cleaned up for my last planned big night out. Dinner was at Quality Bistro, a stunning jewel box of a restaurant. I luxuriated on a blue banquette seat, sipped champagne, and watched the night progress. I overate and loved every minute of it.
One of the reasons I chose the restaurant was its proximity to the Hudson Theatre, where I had tickets to the newly opened Merrily We Roll Along (starring Daniel Radcliffe, Jonathon Groff, and Lindsey Mendez). It was an exciting night, and the crowd was buzzing.
Two thumbs up on the performance!
I walked all the way back to my hotel, enjoying the lights, sounds, and activities of the city. So many people worry about walking around New York at night, especially as a lone female. I never once felt unsafe in the city. It was glorious!
On my last day, I tried to squeeze in as much as I could (and as long as my energy held up!). I started at the Morgan Library This stunning place started as the private library for Pierpont Morgan, the incredibly successful financier that helped shape New York. After his death, his librarian Belle da Costa Greene (read the book, The Personal Librarian. You will not be disappointed!), helped transform it into a public institution we all can now enjoy. If you like books, history, or art, do not miss this place.
The Morgan Library houses a vast collection of manuscripts, books, documents, and art. I actually found a new artist there with whom I am now obsessed: Ferdinand Hodler. This Swiss artist was prolific in the 19th century, and the Morgan had an exhibit that showcased many drawings. I was drawn to his paintings of women, which showed both their beauty and strength equally. I am on the hunt for a print of one of them in particular, the “Study for Joyful Woman.” I am trying to track down a copy of it for my home!
The exhibition also showed some pieces from a series he did on the illness and death of his mistress. These haunting works really brought back my months of watching Rich fade away. I was very moved. You can see a video about the exhibit here.
After the Morgan, I went to the High Line, another NYC institution that I had never previously visited. Thanks to the drizzly weather, it wasn’t very crowded, which made it a lot easier to enjoy all the amazing artwork and the spectacular views of the city and its architecture. I got off at the Chelsea Market food hall to grab a quick lunch. I did not anticipate that it would be so vast, and varied. It was a visual feast as well as a tempting culinary one. I grabbed a spot at the very pretty bar at Corkbuzz, where I enjoyed a wine flight with some olives and jambon croquettes. Delish!
Thus fortified, I headed back up to the Highline and went in the opposite direction. One of the things I did on this trip that probably wouldn’t have worked had I been with companions: I only looked to one side of the high line on my way down, and then the other on the way back. I know that probably sounds peculiar, but it allowed me to focus better on everything around me, without missing something on one side by crisis crossing to the other.
My NYC time was quickly coming to an end. I debated going out for dinner, but I just couldn’t be bothered. Instead, I just pressed the up button in the hotel elevator and went to the rooftop.
Top of the Strand comes up on many lists of top rooftop view bars in New York, and no wonder. I had been meaning to check it out for my whole visit, and I am so glad I finally did. The Empire State Building was RIGHT THERE! I soaked it all in while I enjoyed my final cocktail and charcuterie board before calling it a night.
I had planned to take the subway and Airtrain back to the airport for my return flight, but I was just wiped. So I asked the desk to hire a car for me instead, which was such a great end to a trip that was truly all about me.
I can’t wait to do another solo adventure! I know not everyone likes the idea of traveling without companions. The bike tour through Central Park was really the first time I talked with other visitors about it. I found the varied reactions fascinating. Some were baffled: why would I go alone? Wasn’t I lonely? Afraid? Some were delighted and even envious. A few people seemed to get a longing gleam in their eyes, especially when I said I got to do what I wanted when I wanted, and for however long I wanted. If something was boring me, I would move on. If I wanted a detour, I took it. If I wanted to hang out longer, what was stopping me? Throughout the trip, I reveled in those moments and was grateful I didn’t need to consult anyone else’s wishes.
Don’t get me wrong: I want to travel with other people. In fact, the next three trips I have planned are not solo. And I would like to go back to New York, either with friends or by myself. But I like exploring on my own. It helps me realize how interesting I really am, and how much I don’t need to be in a couple. I think that realization will make me a better partner if I ever take that step again.
But for now, I am working on a 2024 travel mood board. I am ready to do a solo international trip, but I haven’t figured out where yet. I also want to do a road trip this summer. I remember fondly that trip decades ago driving cross country with just a tape deck to keep me company.
This trip, I have so many new memories. Please enjoy this last slideshow, featuring some of the stunning street art and architecture of NYC.
Aloha Means Goodbye and Hello
Many years ago, I took my first solo trip.
Rich and I had broken up, and I was leaving Ohio to return back to California. I planned that trip with enthusiasm: I wanted to see the country, and refused to drive once the sun went down, as I didn’t want to miss anything. I wanted to see route 66, a corner in Winslow Arizona, Carhenge at the Cadillac Ranch, and Las Vegas. By the end of the trip, I declared “every year I will take a trip all by myself!”
Well, it took me 30 years, but I finally took another one.
In January I took what I called my “widow trip.” This was to be my first adventure without Rich, a journey of rest and relaxation, reflection and rejuvenation, renewal and resolution and refocus. I had been to Hawaii many times, but this was the first return trip to Maui since our honeymoon more than 28 years ago. I was determined to make the most of it. When you trave with others, you often skip things you want to do , as you balance each other’s choices. But as a solo traveler, I was determined to do what I wanted, when I wanted. And I did.
As I mentioned, Rich and I honeymooned on Maui. But I didn’t want to retrace our steps. While I planned to honor us, I also needed to make new memories. So my first choice was where to stay, and I chose the Wailea Beach Beach Resort. I had never spent time in this part of the island, so there were no memories there. My first full day I wandered along the beach walk (I did that daily, and would recommend it highly), and hung by the pool before an early dinner at the Lahaina Grill, reportedly the best restaurant in Maui. Dinner did not disappoint. In fact, I was a little leery before I arrived, as the website really didn’t lead with the best picture. But it was a beautiful restaurant, and the staff was as warm and welcoming as the food was delicious!
I mentioned an early dinner, and there was a reason for that (besides jet lag). At 230am the next morning, I boarded a shuttle to the top of Haleakala to watch the sunrise over the volcano.
The bus ride to the summit was pretty quiet, given the early hour, and uneventful because, well, it was dark. And at the top it was quite cold, so we were bundled up for our long wait. I think we were there a good 2 hours before there was a hint of sun, but it was okay because the night sky was stunning. This was an experience I had always asked others to try with me, but I was actually glad to be doing it alone. No need for chit chat: I could be alone with my thoughts. Granted, I was hardly alone on the volcano, as there were hundreds of folks up there…
… but I secured a spot on a rock with a clear view, and hunkered down.
Watching the horizon for glimmers of light was easy fodder for this symbolism-hungry former English major. It’s easy to see the story in this scene. The more I stared, the more I was sure I had seen some light, but then I wasn’t really sure if I had. Had I just been hoping for the sun? Or was it really coming? It reminded me so much of my current journey. I mean, I knew that of course the sun would come, and I would be warm and comforted by the colors and light. But sometimes, you doubt whether things will really get better. But as sure as the sun went down the night before, it rose that morning.
We headed back to the bus, tired and exhilarated. I know I was not the only one who whispered messages or prayers up on that volcano. In fact, the Hawaiians sang a song of prayer as the sun came up, You can hear an example of it here. It really was magical, and a reminder to the tourists that we were privileged to be there. The last bit of the journey that morning wasn’t spiritual, but it was fulfilling: breakfast! The folks at Valley Isle Excursions hooked us up: macadamia nut pancakes at the Maui Tropical Plantation!
I knew I’d be pretty wiped, so when I returned to the hotel I changed then headed back down the beach walk to the Willow Stream Spa at the Fairmont. I spent several blissful hours there, followed by a cocktail at the bar. After wandering back down the magical beach path, I had an early dinner at the poolside bar back at the Marriott, then crashed, content with a day filled with nourishment for my body and soul. But this was just the beginning of my magical trip.
My next day was also destined to be memorable, for very different reasons. I started with whale watching, which is something every Hawaiian visitor should have on their bucket list,. January is prime whale season, as the mamas and babies are all over. I had already been blessed with sightings. The night before, while wandering around at sunset, I gleefully cried out when I saw one breach ff shore (breaching is when they do that awesome full body leap and crash out of the water). I laughed at myself and sheepishly glanced around, only to find that everyone else was either freaking the same way, or wistfully wishing they had seen it. I thought that would be my highlight, and I felt fulfilled. When I boarded the charter the next morning, I was cautiously optimistic, but figured if I even saw one or two I’d be sated.
When I boarded the boat at Ultimate Whale Watch and Snorkel, I met Captain Emma and First Mate Lexie. These dynamic women were part of a trend for this trip: strong, powerful women helping me realize my own strength. They filled us in on the plan, and told us to be patient. We did not need to be. It took very little time for us to come upon whales — but Emma kept saying “that’s not our whale.” No one knew quite what she meant, until we met Shania.
Shania Twain was playing on the radio when we spotted her all white fluke, so rare that Emma and Lexie were excited. You now you are experiencing something special when the “experts” are giddy. Shania flirted a bit, then breached! We were so tickled! She would roll and wave her fins, then dive down, then, she breached again!
And again.
And again.
Emma told us, as she picked her jaw up off the floor, that the human equivalent of a whale breach, in terms of caloric expenditure, is like running a marathon. So for a whale to do it that many times in succession was really wild. But it got wilder. We wondered if she would go for double digits. She did. Twice. By the time we had to go back to shore, she had breached about 24 times! She was so predictable, that we had time to even plan for “whalefies,” pics with her breaching in the background!
At one point I cried a little, just from the sheer beauty of it all.
I also was thinking about Rich, and how much he would have loved this. When we docked, I made sure I was the last to leave the boat, so I could thank Emma and Lexie. I told them about my widow trip, and that I was doing new things on my own to prove to myself that I could, and that I would be okay. I also told them about Rich, and how he had been a marathon runner, and that I thought of him with every breach. I swear he sent us that whale. He sent me Sania to tell me over and over that he knew I could do it. That I would be ok, and that he would send me whatever help I needed. We all wept a little at that, as hokey as it sounded.
But I walked away feeling so incredibly full of heart, ready to take on the rest of the day.
I wandered around a bit before heading off to find a place for lunch. I had something big on my schedule for the end of the day, an I needed sustenance — and a cocktail. I found a spot at the bar at Monkeypod, a well-known local chain.
After another walk about, I pointed my Turo rental north (first time trying Turo — great experience!). My destination was the Hyatt Regncy in Ka’anapali, where Rich and I stayed on our honeymoon. This was going to be challenging, I knew.
Walking into the lobby it all flooded back — the exhaustion and giddiness upon arrival, taking in the soaring indoor/outdoor lobby, and my eyes wandered upwards, trying to remember which room had been ours. I remember that lobby was were Rich would sneak down every morning to check for faxes from work (remember those, pre-cell phone?), and every morning I pretended I didn’t know. I wandered the grounds to try and find some of the places we had taken pictures, and even reenacted a few. I watched the penguins, the swans, and all the other birds. The hubbub around the pool seemed like it was happening in another world. I was in a grief bubble, for sure, and I knew it was going to be harder still.
I wandered down to the beach, and flashed back on watching him slowly swimming back and forth off shore. He loved doing that. He so loved the ocean. And since I wanted him to be forever in the places that brought us both joy, I had brought some of his ashes.
I found a remarkably empty little beach, and sat down. When I was cleaning out his things back home, I found shell necklaces that we received on our honeymoon, and I put those on. I wrapped myself in the sarong I somehow still had from that trip, and I cried. I remembered everything wonderful about that trip — even his inevitable sunburn when he refused sunscreen. I laughed a little, and smiled. I waded out into the water, and let him go. I could immediately feel some peace, knowing that at east a part of him would forever be in that beautiful place.
I dried my eyes and made my way back to my car. Windows down, music blasting, the Hawaiian wind drying my tears. And then, offshore, a whale breached.
Thank you, Rich. I love you.
I Do New: January edition
I had two New Year’s Resolutions this year. One was to write in my blog twice a month (I’m behind on that. I’ll do three for February to catch up!). The second was to do something new every week. So here is what I did in January!
Traveled solo: while I have done a few travel adventures on my own, they were either really small or a long time ago. You may recall I packed up Stevie Nicks (my doggo) and headed to a cabin shortly after Rich died. That was pretty solo, in that I was in charge of planning and executing all on my lonesome, but it really wasn’t a big deal. The first time I travelled by myself was decades ago. Rich and I had been living together in Ohio, and things just weren’t working out. So we broke up to save our relationship (I know, sounds odd, but it clearly worked). I packed up all my stuff in my Geo Prizm and drove cross country, touristing on my own terms along the way. When I finished that journey, I made myself a promise I would travel solo every year. Yeah that didn’t happen. But a few months ago, there was a sudden miles sale to Hawaii, and it was too gid to pass up. So In January I took myself to Maui for a week. I will blog more about that trip at another date, but I definitely wanted to start my “new” checklist with this one!
Whale watching: that happened on the Maui trip, of course (not too many whales in Minnesota, especially in January). A stunning, moving day full of laughter and a couple tears.
Fancy dinner all by myself: I have been my own dinner date before. Usually I bring a book and the meal is bookended with shopping or a movie. But on the Maui trip, almost every meal was by solo. I made a huge effort to keep the phone in my purse, and just soak in the experience. The first dinner out was the game changer, as I went to the “best restaurant in Hawaii,” according to many forums, the Lahaina Grill. I dressed up, ordered what I wanted and people watched, making up stories about all the other guests in the restaurant. People don’t really notice you when you are a middle aged woman hanging solo, which in this case was a great thing, lol.
Sunrise on a volcano: I have been to Hawaii several times, and have always thought it would be cool to watch the sun rise over the crater of a volcano. But every other trip I had people with me, and no one ever wanted to get up at the butt crack of night (my shuttle picked me up at 230 in the morning!). So this was my chance, and I took it. I am still sifting through all my pictures, trying to find the best ones to share. That will be part of the Maui blog post. For now, though, I’ll just say that between the sparkling white stars in the purple sky, to the firey oranges and yellows of the wakening sun, it was magical.
Make new friends: on a snorkeling adventure, I sat next to two women who I am now friends with. They were on a girls trip celebrating ther 40th birthdays (babies!). Jodi and Kelsey were from the San Francisco Bay Area, which is where I grew up, so we connected immediately. Next thing I knew they invited me to join them at a luau the next night, and we had dinner together again the following night. We are now friends on social media, and I am looking forward to connecting with them again in the future!
Whelping: I have wanted to whelp FOREVER but Rich always put his foot down. Well, here I go! If you follow me on TikTok you have met Millie, the 100 pound Newfoundland mama that birthed 10 puppies at my house January 22nd. Every day with them is new, and exciting. I love it!
I challenge you to do something new, too, and let me know what it was! Even if it’s just once a month — a new food, a new skill, a new location. Whatever it is, do it! We all need to grow!
A little Ado About Everything 