A little Ado About Everything

Okay. My turn…

Yesterday, I forgot to mention a phone call from HWSNBN. The reception was awful, and he sounded totally distorted. “Dude I cannot understand you!” He sighed, and said he’d call back.

Ring ring.

“It’s no better! You sound like you are in a box! Are you in a tunnel?”

“No.”

“Speaker phone? Wait — you’re breaking up. I seriously cannot understand a word you are saying.”

Exasperated, he hangs up and calls from his work phone.  Now I can hear him, and all is well.  We converse, he thanks me for exchanging phones at the Apple store for him, we talk about the trip he’s taking.  We hang up.  Twenty minutes later I receive a text:

“You couldn’t understand me, because you put the phone case on my phone UPSIDE DOWN.” Oops…

I’ll claim this one. And thus started a chain of “my bads.”

At Secondhand Hounds today, the rescue at which I volunteer, it fell upon me to fill up syringes with flea and tick meds.  An hour later, I proudly finish my task and walk away.  A few minutes go by, and I see the office manager redoing my work.  “Amy! What are you doing?”

“You filled them all wrong!” I was supposed to fill to 1.34 ccs.  I did 1 3/4s…

Grr…

Sheepishly, I finish my shift and head out.  About an hour later, at Singer Girl’s doctor appointment (she’s asking to have her tonsils out. Doc said no. I liked him.), I get a text, from a fellow volunteer:

“You left your laptop here.”

Grr…

We were already late, as we had shown up late to the appointment and they let the next patient go before us…

Flash forward a few hours.  Rushing around, creating a budget and presentation for a PTO Booster meeting about the Senior Party I am chairing.  Rush to the school. Arrive 10 minutes early, smug that I am not late for THIS appointment.  Several minutes go by, folks are chatting, politely smiling at me.  The signup sheet goes around.  Someone reads what I write.

“Um, you’re Donni, right? I know you from Facebook.”

“Yep, that’s me!”

“Um, you know this is the cheer-leading meeting right?”

Grr…

Recheck my schedule.  My meeting isn’t for almost another hour.

Tomorrow’s another day.

Hopefully someone else can reclaim the title of Biggest Fool.

So today I was gonna get stuff done.  I love Mondays for that.  Everyone is gone to school/work, and I try not to schedule appointments or answer the phone. But.

HWSNBN needed me to drive him to work (car still in shop).  Then I volunteered to brave teh Aple store so that he could travel internationally with a phone.  Gettingr eady to go — and he says “Oh yeh: I forgot my briefcase.  can you bring taht to?” Of cpourse you did.  And of course I will.

Arrived at Apple at 1010, thinking easy peasy in and out.  Do you know where NOT to be on a Monday morning? A mall in Minnesota. Why? Well, let’s just say I was not alone as the only blue-haired lady there.  Mall walkers are vicious! And they are all lined up, ten deep at apple, wanting to learn.  Which is awesome, don’t get me wrong.  But I got things to do.

So I get it done. I fly back to the office (only 10 minute drive), to find that HWSNBN is in a 3 hour meeting so can’t come get it from me.  I am NOT waiting for three hours.  So I take it in to the front desk, put a post it on it, and leave. I. AM. Done.

Get home.  All cars are gone. I am confused.  Text Singer Girl: did you drive to school? Usually her BF, Drummer Boy, takes her, but he was busy conquering the world in a business suit (school presentation.  Very big.  All Shark Tank and pirze money and — man was I an underachiever in high school.  I was happy if I could get my bangs to stand up the requisite 3 inches and match my Valley Girl beads to my jelly shoes and ZZ Top anklet socks). Sailor Boy has had to drive Singer Girl to school, as her ride, Drummer Boyfriend, had to go to school early.

Anyhoo, Sailor Boy drove her. When he got home, he looked like hell.  What’s up, I ask? Seems he got in at 5am, so the 7am driving duty kind of sucked.  He went to bed.  I made coffee.  Started figuring out how to transfer old emails to new computer.  Can’t be done.  My productive day became one of purging and resending emails to myself. Yeah me.

But we did get the car back, which is awesome.  Almost didnt get there, as Sailor Boy missed the turn like 3 times, but ugh. Got the car, paid too much to replace the tires (the same tires we replace every year as HWSNBN won’t change the wheels that keep rubbing the tires and causing them to blow.  he also won’t go in for the air bag recall.  He thinks it’s all a plot to get him to buy a new car.  He’ll regret it when we get in an accident and my air bag doesn’t deploy and HE has to run the house from now on.)

Car was out of gas.

HWSNBN had “the worst uber in the world” on the way to the airport.

Forgot his international adapter and will have to buy another.

Sailor Boy sleeping at his GF’s house tonight (she needs a moniker…Saint SheWhoPutsUpWithHWSNBN2.0? For old time’s sake I’ll just call her Toasty.  In high school she lived on simple carbs.  She has matured.  Sailor Boy has not.) Singer Girl at choir rehearsal.  I have house to myself for 3 hours.  Need to work on emails and Senior Party budget, but honestly I’m feeding the dog, then having wine and Ruffles and watching something estrogen driven.

So we have lived in the new place for three years now — holy buckets! Life has continued and evolved, and lately I have found myself immersed in a Facebook group called Grown and Flown Parents.  For the past few days, I have posted lengthy diatribes on daily life, and folks have enjoyed it and asked me to write a blog.  So, I dusted off ye olde WordPress and rather than reinvent the ballpoint pen, I am just re-purposing my old one. (Singer girl would applaud me for being green)

To kick things off, I will repost the stories that resurrected my writing “career,” such as it is. I give you “My LifeAGeddon.”

Jan 4, 2018: Day four of ManColdaGeddon 2018. I was unable to vacuum my filthy house as he was napping — so it was all broom, all day. I had planned to stop drinking and work out every day to kickstart my weight loss plan, but eff that. I need my vices to get through this. He refuses to cover his mouth when he coughs and sneezes as he walks through the house, but doesn’t want to go to work and get everyone sick, Today I caught him sleeping on my pillows. I have elected to sleep on couch tonight. On-leave Sailor Boy has promised to not wake me up when he comes sneaking in late at night. Tomorrow is another day…time for wine and Real Housewives (at least I don’t have to argue about what to watch)…

…Omg I just pointed out that it was gross that he slept on my pillows. He glared and said “you don’t need to bleach everything!” Girl. You done slept and drooled and snotted germiness ev-Ery-where

Jan 7, 2018: ManColdAgeddon update: the tide has turned, and the whimpering is lessening. Yet the plague upon him continues in different ways. On Friday, you may recall, he blew out a tire while I was “indisposed” amidst a cleaning frenzy. Yesterday he enlisted the assistance of Sailor Boy, retrieving the vehicle. Alas: the expedition was unsuccessful, as he returned upon discerning he had TWO flat tires. I ask, “so you just left it there? What now?” He seemed perturbed that I would ask. I, baffled, went back to prepping for dinner party. Clock was ticking: 15 people coming in a matter of hours. Meanwhile, he realizes he has lost his phone. We are now going on about 30 hours of a lost phone — presumably lost in this house. My guess? It got tired of being sneezed on and packed a bag. Later on, he enlists Singer Girl to take him BACK to the disabled vehicle. She calls me, about 10 minutes later, furious with the world around her (she is very “17 year old girl in the midst of college angst”). “I lost Dad.” Now, before you wonder: my husband has a habit of disappearing. like, he is there one second then no one knows where he is. The girl often volunteers to stay with him so when he wanders off she can leave breadcrumbs. This time, however, she was following him to the tire store. “Where was he going mom? OMG. He has no phone so I can’t call him! And I am sitting in the middle of the road and people are honking at me!” I hold the phone away from my ear as she screetches. I have no idea what store he is at — I only know which store he told me he would never go to, which of course is the one he went to. I tell her she has 3 options, and during the calm explanation she randomly screetches and wails her displeasure: one, drive aimlessly around town hoping she finds him (this was her original one, and one which he surely would advocate. he has done this in the past when we are supposed to be going to someone’s house for dinner but forgot to ask them where they lived). Two, pull over and wait for him to call from wherever he ends up, or three, come home. She determines the world hates her, her parents are idiots, and she strains an eye while rolling it. She hangs up. He calls me. At Home. I explain that i am not the one he lost. Call Singer Girl. He does. Car is at shop now. Car will be ready Monday.Maybe. Husband flies to Europe Monday. I hope Amsterdam is ready…

Jan 8, 2018: MyLifeAgeddon: the cold having subsided, but the insanity continuing, I thought I’d keep this ball rolling…

So: when last we spoke, HWSNBN (that is DH’s Facebook name. He hates social media, and abhors seeing his name on it. So compromise is the moniker HeWhoShallNotBeNamed, or HWSNBN) was in the waning moments of the Man Cold, his car was in the shop, and the search continued for missing phone. Yesterday he decided eff it, I need a phone to travel to Europe. No, he has never backed up his phone, so all was lost. He heads to the mall, and, after about 3 hours and multiple phone calls to me, gets a phone. He rushes back and we switch cars (4 humans sharing 2 cars, as his is at the shop). I fly to my meeting (yes, on a Sunday: animal rescue knows no weekends). Four minutes down the road, the phone rings. It’s him. My butt clenches.

“The shop has my phone.” Say what? So, his phone had fallen into some black hole in his car. They found it, and promptly called him to let him know — leaving the message on the very cell phone they had — which he learns via voicemail on new phone. “Well,” says he, uncharacteristically searching for a bright side, “I guess I got someone a new phone.” True: Singer Girl’s phone has been on its last dial tone for quite some time. Had it for 4 years, which is a millennia to a Millenial. But while HWSNBN bought a technically new phone, he told Apple to just give him what he already had: a 6s. Um, that was 2-3 generations ago. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

He worries: “I need to return the new phone, but I have to fly to Europe today, so I better be careful with it so it’s in pristine shape.” My head pivots, my eyebrow arches, the coffee cup pauses on it’s way to my waiting mouth, and I say: “Oh hell to the no. Do you honestly think, with your track record, it will be safe?” (background: he is notorious for losing stuff. Like driver’s licences, credit cards, and don’t get me started on all the broken coffee mugs I have found in front of our house because he has sped off with them on the top of his car).

So today I drop him off at work, and as I am a kindly SAHM and devoted and not at all sarcastic wife, I offer to take old phone and new old phone to Apple and have the old switched back on and the new old returned. Oh: and he forgot his laptop, so yeah, can I bring that too when I come to the office? SIGH. He heads to Amsterdam tonight. I may actually get something done…

So we have been in the new digs 10 days, and we are loving it.  Can’t wait to get all the boxes emptied so we can really see how pretty it is!  I apologize for not posting sooner, but it has been a whirlwind.  Besides moving last week, we had homecoming for the kids.  Carter was chosen for the Homecoming court, so that meant lots of extra activities for him and for us.  All well worth it, but took time away from getting settled.  It was also Frankie’s first high school dance, with all that entails (which dress  which shoes?  Which hair style? What nail polish?), and primping  amidst moving boxes was challenging.  We also had the seasonal School of Rock concerts, which meant about 10 hours out of the weekend dedicated to that.  Plus work travel for Rich, Gourmet party for both of us, and countless subs every day in the house.  I think today is the first day I have been alone in the house!

Another time suck?  having to walk the dog about 6 times a day.  Can’t wait to have the electric fence installed!  Oh:  and I am out of the boot on y broken foot, but walking with a decided limp.

So my goal for this weekend is to get at least 30 more boxes emptied, and start getting stuff put away in the attic.  If all the happens, we should be able to get a car in the garage!  But wait — we still have to sell the other house (which still has stuff in the garage and yard).  Oh, and empty the storage unit.  And let’s not forget the Twin Cities Marathon Rich is running on Sunday.  Maybe I should settle for 10 boxes and a bike in the garage!

Started taking pictures off the walls today, and my folks packed up books (thanks Sharon and Wayne!).  Think all my pre-moving checklist is done.  Now I just want to go!

Most of the

Driveway at dusk

Pergola in process of being painted

Getting ready!

Outside of front door

Our front door — I love the copper, art deco look!

Fireplace ready for winter (I am not)

Dog kennel awaiting its occupant!

Garage floors freshly epoxied!

Gym walls — just need glass (and floor. And weights…)

Back patio

First plants are in!

house is ready.  It doesn’t feel like it, as appliances aren’t all in place, and some mirrors and glass have to be installed.  We also have a few missing lights, but we do’t need those to move in. They epoxied the garage floor today, the driveway is poured, and the landscaping is going ful force.  Wahoo!

Here are a few pics with a few things that have happened.

Seriously: 5 days until we move in!  I know it won’t be 100 % done by then, but I don’t care.  I want in!  Super Bill said they will work on the house until the moving truck shows, then resume the next day.  The main thing that won’t be done is landscaping, but that’s no biggie.  They are moving fast now in that department!  Yard is all prepped, and pavers are going in.  I think some arborvitae go in tomorrow!

Also on the outside, the pergola gets stained either today or tomorrow!  We made some changes to the pergola ad front porch — the cedar beams are beautiful, but there were too many.  We will try to find a new use for the beams.  Maybe the world’s biggest mail box?

All the hardware is in place, and the painters are doing touch ups, as well as doing the faux finish on our bathroom and master bedroom headboard wall.  The fireplace will be finished tomorrow, and all the glass is going in today, including the gym walls.  that will be a big deal!

Saturday we will go over and hang window treatments and line shelves.  Boring, but exciting, too!

All the last minute stuff is great, but I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.  Case in point:  just got phone call that my new dining room table is on its way to be delivered — thought I told them next week!  ow I have to rearrange that delivery.  Plus, just learned we have a second showing on our current house.  Would love for it to sell, but kinda need to start messing my house up with boxes, not leaning it up!  And I am selling some furniture, and have folks stopping by at various times for that.  I am seriously dreaming of my first bath in my sexy new tub!

mud room cubbies with hardware in place!

A view from the front hall to the stairwell with new railings and light fixture in place!

I get a kick out of this hardware (this is in Carter’s bathroom)

Silly to be excited, but can’t wait to put these bad boys to good use!

Seat in master shower has been installed

bad shot of the bathroom faux finish in progress

Our fridge. So glad we did cabinet fronts!

Oven and microwave! Finally going to have double ovens (other is in range)

Backsplash in hall serving bar

The brick floor in the bar is all grouted

Prepping for the walkway

Prepping for the walkway

These guys are so precise!

The bits and pieces are really coming together!  The landscapers have been grading everything, and that makes it smell like spring (although all that turned earth will freeze tonight, as our lows will be in the 30s.  Ugh!).  All the subs are finishing up, but it still feels pretty chaotic.  It has been fun this week, seeing changes every day.  Super Bill is hoping to have the inspector in on Wednesday the 17th to see if we are ready for our certificate of occupancy.  Wow!  So much to get done by then, it feels to me, but I know it’s closer than it looks.  Fingers crossed!

Love these pendants over the island!

My bath tub!

Penny’s kennel (still needs to be painted).

The carpet runner going in.

All the closets are done — this one is Frankie’s

Pergola is almost up

When all this gets stained, it will absolutely change the look of the house!

We should know a lot in a week — like when we get our keys!  Last week a lot was done, but then again, not really.  They stained the floors, which was super time and labor intensive, so very few subs got to be in the house.  But a bit was accomplished, like getting the garage doors installed.  They are so pretty!  Glad we (I) designed what we wanted, rather than buy from the catalog.  The kitchen back splash was installed, and it really ties in with the rustic fireplace stone in the adjoining great room.

It’s a bit like the week before Christmas right now, as the garage and mud room are filled with boxes of plumbing supplies and lights.  Like a kid on a holiday-cookie-high, I go around guessing what’s inside.  The biggest box is definitely my tub!  Can’t shake ’em or peel back the wrapping paper, but I wanna!

We may have to do a little revamping of our low-voltage system.  Currently we are a Tivo home.  But yesterday, we were treated to the green screen of death in the basement, so now we have to choose between buying a new one, or going with the cable company’s DVR system.  Anyone use Mediacom DVR?  What do you think?  I have a little crush on the Tivo guy (my daughter even dressed up as him for Halloween a few years ago!), so I feel a little like I am cheating on him by looking elsewhere.

Nothing new on the home-selling front.  We were excited about a second showing yesterday.  They had liked the house when  they saw it in August, but couldn’t make an offer until they sold theirs in Minneapolis.  Well, they id that and were eager to come back.  They stayed all of 5 minutes (whereas we spent 3 hours cleaning and getting ready, and had to leave the house for an hour for the showing).  Grrr…

May be posting daily (or not).  Lots happening in the next few days, so keep checking in!

View into our bedroom from hallway

The great room floors a-gleaming! That weird squiggle on the floor in the middle is a wire for an electrical outlet.

The stone backsplash is up in the kitchen!

A view from Rich’s office, showing off his beautiful doors, the fireplace and the view!

Garage doors!

The stairs are now stained. Next week the carpet runner goes on and the metal spindles are installed

Frankie and her friend Luke scaling the baby Volkswagen-retaining wall. Me? I walk around.