It’s Awards Season, which means I will be obsessively doing two things: watching movies and posting about fashion. Today we cover the show that makes me think of boobs: the Golden Globes (really: what were they thinking when they picked that name?).
Before I start sharing pictures and thoughts and snarky comments and envious gushings, I want to remark on something I heard Howard Stern say on his show the other day. Mind you: I literally only heard a couple of sentences, so this is TOTALLy without context. Maybe he said more afterward, but I was rushing between appointments and I only heard this bit, so I can only comment on this.
He said that with very, very few exceptions, the women looked awful at the GGs. He said their stylists were doing them such a disservice by not flattering their bodies. He specifically mentioned that the bodies were hidden in material, that the ones that showed cleavage smashed their breasts in an unflattering way, and that they should have their hair loose, not pulled back, because so many have such gorgeous hair.
Mr stern, I know your job is to be a shock jock. Frankly, until I started listening to you last year, I and the impression that you were a wretched sexist pig. I have since learned to enjoy your show, even if I do skip over certain parts (your interviews are s=awesome — your sidekicks are not my thing). I admire your animal advocacy and your obvious devotion to your wife. But about those comments:
Yeah, lots of the outfits were weird. I agree, and I will call folks on it. And many will disagree with my opinions, which is fine, because they are my opinions, and I am as entitled to them as you are. But I think you miss the point on the red carpet fashion.
The women re not necessarily dressing for you, or for other men. In my heart of hearts, I hope they are dressing for themselves. But I know they are dressing for other women. We do that. It’s why we spend so much time at Sephora when our men say they prefer us without makeup.
Some of the women are just trying to get press. Some are trying to project an image they have or one they want. Their appearances on these shows are more about business and brand than anything else. I will comment on people in this blog I have ever heard of, and that means they have succeeded. In some cases, I googled them, and learned about a project they were a part of, and maybe added it to my watch list.
That means their weird, boob crushing, severe hairstyle worked.
Just like your shock jock persona works for you.
Thanks, Mr. Stern, for letting me vent. Now: on with the fashion show.
Imma start with this one because it is gold. There ya go. I actually love this, and it ALMOST made my top 3. It’s elegant, but modern at the same time.
I am a big fan of color on the runway, and this year we got splashes all over the place!
And there was a whole flock of ladies in red — all conducting trains:
On the other end of the spectrum were the ladies who went for classic black and white.
Greta Gerwig and Cynthia Erivo had the same idea: a black column dress with white framing the neck and face. Ervio’s was way better IMO. Gerwig’s severe horizontal neckline, with her tightly pulled back hair, only emphasized her broad shoulders. That may have been what she wanted, but I didn’t like it. Ervio’s, with the glittery movement and nipped waist, made the look more exciting and flattering.
Ruffles and bows and wannabe lingerie looks were all over the place as usual. We just can’t get away from the Little House on the Prairie influence. Pity (at least the flesh-colored gowns were absent from the lineup).
As for the other ruffly bits…
On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have the ladies who wore pants!
Let’s turn to the menfolk on the carpet! Men’s fashions are fantastically, fabulously pushing the envelope lately, and I am here for it! From the classic:
To the “in a class by himself”:
And everywhere in between!
Before we move on to my faves and least faves, I want to mention two women who were on both lists depending on who was voting, If nothing else, they were very haute couture. Fashion is an art, after all!
My least favorite looks were some people’s favorites (and vice versa).
The absolute worst was Jennifer Lopez. WTAF??? I included a picture of her from another gala that week, that she should have worn instead.
Some looks were SO CLOSE. They could have been amazing, but something felt lacking. Is it better to be safe, or to dare? (always dare)
And my three favorite looks of the Golden Globes were…
As a parting gift, here is a slideshow of some of the best and worst looks from the Globes after-parties. You guess which ones I liked and which ones, well, not so much.
Hi! Petty fashion moment here! I love award season, and all the amazing clothes I can’t afford to wear and don’t have the body to do so anyway. I am scheduling all the movies I need to see for the Oscars, and the Golden Globes are often a precursor to both who will win, and what the fashions will be like. We have some cool names in the running this year — especially in terms of taking risks on the red carpet.
I love the folks who do something new and cool and interesting — I mean, Cher in her acting heyday was the one I would most want to be like if I had the chance, lol.
Today my blog is all about who wore what and what I thought of the outfits. I am not naming designers (I am sorry — I know they deserve a mention, but honestly: this little blog will neither make nor break anyone’s career), just sharing what I liked, what I didn’t, my opinions on trends, etc. I tried to put captions on most photos. Clothes do not make the man: just because I do (or do not) like someone’s outfit, does not equate how I think of their work. I am sure they are all lovely people.
Enjoy (and let me know if you concur!) Hope
Let’s start with co-hostess Sandra Oh:
Flawless. Elegant. Smart. Hair, makeup, jewelry. I love all three looks. If I had to pick one, I would probably pick the red. I love color. Which leads me to my first “ensemble” category: Women of COLOR!
Next group wore my absolute least favorite dress trend of the past too many years: flesh colored dresses. Yeah, I know the official term is blush, but all I see is mono-chromatic skin tones.
Two women got the trend right for different reasons:
On the opposite side of the spectrum: widow chic.
From death’s door to virginal: the prom dress look.
And then there is Heidi Klum. I liked her dress at first — then I saw the second picture. She looks like a teenager showing off her dress at the school dance. Not a good luck. Auf wiedersehn.
Now let’s look at something completely different: the guys. I LOVE that the men are taking chances. It used to be so boring, and they were just the picture frame for their date. Now they get to live it up. Some are all that — some are not that at all.
Starting with the classics:
Is white the way?
How about the velvety underground:
And how about a shout out to Idris Elba? All buttoned up or a little loose around the edges, man is foyne. (damn that Fiji water girl in the background)
Young Hollywood is going it’s own way — which is good and not so great.
Perhaps the best look of the night for men — following in the Cher school of thought: Billy Porter. Yaaas!
And now a look at my three favorite couples from the evening. I wish HWSNBN and I cleaned up this well!
Before I go to the big categories, I’m going to list my runners -up. The folks that were THAT close to awesome — or hideous.
And now: the worst looks of the night. The what were you thinking? The fire the stylist in the morning — or buy a new mirror looks.
So that of course just leaves my favorites. For so many reasons!
Thanks for indulging my inner Joan Rivers. I’ll try to write about something less trivial next time (oh who am I kidding?)